To Kill an Ewok
by Luthien Luinwe
Summary: Basically, Anakin is having nightmares about his Padawan, Ahsoka, his dreams, and letters / interruptions make up the story. Yay.
1. Nightmares and Padawans

**STAR WARS IS AWESOME, BUT I DON'T OWN IT GEORGE LUCAS DOES!**

_I'm standing on the lava planet, Mustafar. I can see her there, fighting against the Sith assassin that Dooku hired, Ventress. She's losing. I want to step in, but I can't. My feet are glued to the ground. I can't move. If I could, then I would save her. But I can do nothing at all. I can see her falling, and everything goes blank._

Dear Angel,

My nightmares are returning. I wish that I could be with you right now, but I can't. It's too risky. Obi Wan is already suspecious. Anyway, this nightmare, it's just as bad as the ones that I had about my mother. I would tell you who, but I don't want to endanger her. How I wish that I could be there with you!

This war gets worse by the minute. If my men aren't being shot at, I'm being attacked. If I'm not being attacked, Ahsoka is. If Ahsoka isn't being attacked, then it's a good chance that I'm unconcious, and some Jedi (usually an attractive female one, wait, did I just right that? Force! I can't scratch it out! Umm, sweetheart, could you ignore that last comment?) has to rescue me. Those female Jedi really don't take kindly to General Skywalker being out cold... for the umpteenth time.

Anyway, the dream was set at Mustafar. For whatever reason, I couldn't move. She was being attacked by a Sith assassin, and she lost, and she fell, and so did I. I don't understand it. I don't understand any of my dreams, actually. For whatever reason, something terrible is going to happen to her, and I don't know what.

I finished reading those books that you sent me. You know, _How to Raise an Illegal Child When You Are Illegally Married_, _Force-Sensative Child Raising 101_, _So You Want to be a Child-air_, and _To Kill an Ewok _(That one was a tear jerker, by the way). What was with the parenting books? Is there something you aren't telling me?

Just in case you would like to know, we recently recaptured Alderaan, not that it was under siege or anything... *ahem*... hold on...

"MASTER?"

"Ahsoka, I told you, I'm busy!"

"But Master, I need to leave!"

"Why?"

"Umm, I need to see Senater Amidala?"

"Why?"

"Girl reasons."

"Go."

Anyway, sometimes, okay all of the time, I wonder why I got stuck with a female Padawan. I mean, I love Ahsoka to death, in the Master-to-Padawan type of way, but really? I don't understand half the stuff she goes through. Well, I think she's coming to visit you... Wait, you're on Naboo, and we are in the middle of space... I AM SUCH AN IDIOT! Excuse the yelling. I'm going to have words with Ahsoka when she gets back. Nah, she's just like me! Yay for me!

Love,

Extremely Awesome Chosen One / Ani / Skyguy

**And End Chapter! Reviews greatly appreciated. Update whenever I get around to it, kay?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Dear Ani...**

_I can't move. I don't know why, but I can't. I am perfectley aware of where I am, and what I'm feeling, but I can't move._

_"They're over there," I heard someone say. Obi-Wan, maybe? I think so._

_'I see them," said another voice, Mace I believe._

_"Did you check their pulses?"_

_"He's breathing, but I can't get a reading on her.'_

_Wait, no pulse? They said, "He's breathing," is that me? Who's the other person?_

_"Get them into the ship, see if a night in the Bacta Tank can't help. He looks terrible. Must've been one heck of a battle."_

_"Ventress is a tricky one. Who knows what she's done to them."_

_Oh yeah, Ventress the battle. This couldn't be good._

Dear Ani,

I'm fine. I hope you are fine too. Reread the books. See if you understand. Something doesn't feel right here, please, do not respond. If you love me, you will not write back until I contact you. I love you, Ani.

Love,

Angel

_I know that I'm in a Bacta tank, I can feel the healing power. I feel awful. I hope whoever the other person is is alright, but I can't be sure. Force, I hope that person's okay!_

Dear Obi-Wan,

Yes, I am aware that we are on the same ship, but it's a long walk, and the clones gossip... so, umm, is Senator Amidala being watched? No reason, just, umm, curious. And what has Ahsoka been up to? Yes, I know we're on the same ship, but it's a long walk from here to the next room, so have Artoo send me a letter from you, kay? Kay.

Signed,

The Hero Who Has No Will To Do Any Work

**WOOHOO! SHORT CHAPTER! GOTTA LOVE IT! creepy dreams... Later peeps! Please review! **


	3. Oooh, creepy dreams

**Welcome to chapter 3**

_I actually do feel a lot better after the Bacta treatment. However, I am still unconcious. _

_ "Anakin, can you hear me?" asked a familiar voice. It was definitely Obi-Wan._

_I want to respond, but I can't. Why can't I?_

"_If you can hear me, please let me know."_

_I hear you, Obi-Wan, but I can't respond. It's like I've forgotten how._

"_He must not be able to hear us, then."_

_Us?_

"_MESA THINKSA YOUSA SHOULD WAKE UP NOW LITTLE ANI!"_

_Great, Jar Jar. It's my lucky day…_

"_MESA NO THINKSA ANI CAN HEAR US!"_

_I really wanted to tell that Gungun to shut up. I think I felt myself regain strength because my eyes finally opened._

"_Shut up, Jar Jar," I said, although it came out more like "Shutupppjarrrjar"_

"_ANI! YOUSA ARE AWAKESA!"_

_He really likes yelling._

"_Ahsoka?" once again, it came out wrong. More like, "Ashoksha?"_

"_Anakin, bad news…" replied Obi-Wan._

Hero Who Gets On My Last Nerve,

Grow up and come speak to me in person. Blast it Anakin, what is it with you and Senator Amidala? I mean really, I am three doors down from you! About her being watched, I have a bad feeling about this… Umm, yeah, there's no easy way to say this, but could you PLEASE SLEEP A LITTLE QUIETER? I hear you mummbling all the way down here! And, umm, if you see Siri, make sure she doesn't come near Satine, who isn't on the ship… I mean, why would you think she's on the ship?

Obi-Wan Is More Awesome

Dear Obi-Wan,

LIAR!

Anakin Rocks.

**Okay, so I'm pretty sure we all know what's going on with Padme, except for Anakin, and if you don't, watch Episode Three. Plus, after watching The Clone Wars TV show, I've realized it's fun to make fun of, so, yeah, if you've seen it, you can guess what's going on with Padme… Later**


	4. Chapter 4

_Bad news? What could it be about. Something to do with Ahsoka, I'm sure._

_"Where is my Padawan, Obi-Wan?" of course, as I am still suffering from the effects of the Bacta tank, came out more like, "?"_

_"You really should stop trying to talk, Anakin," Mr. Know-it-all himself replied._

_"ANI! YOUSA PADAWAN IS..."_

_"SHUT UP JAR JAR!" Obi-Wan and I replied at the same time._

_"Anakin, Ahsoka killed Ventress, and then moved to Hoth, and we haven't heard from her since. She said something about setting up a potential base in the event that the government were to become some sort of empire, and if a rebellion arose, your son being a member..." Obi-Wan said, and then burst into hysterical laughter. "That they would need a base outside of that potential empire! How crazy is that?"_

_"So, what happened to me?"_

_"Oh, Ahsoka hit you in the head with a baseball bat several times while yelling, 'DIE ROTTEN SITH LORD DARTH VADER!' I don't know where she gets this from."_

_Ahsoka hit me in the head with a baseball bat?_

_"Oh, and Young Skywalker," Windu said._

_"YOUSA GONNA GOSA TO SEE THE MR. CHANCELLER SIR!"_

_"Jar Jar, please, do us all a favor and rip your tongue out of your mouth, let me cut it up with my lightsaber, blast it with the weapons on an AT-AT..."_

_"Anakin, what is an AT-AT?"_

_"All Terrain Armored Transport, I'm designing it, and BLAST IT INTO THE GALAXY FURTHEST AWAY FROM HERE!"_

_"OH, YOUSA MEANS THE MILKY WAY?"_

_"Anakin, take pity on the people of Earth... PLEASE!"_

_Who the heck was that?_

_"Hi, I'm Jar Jar's nemisis!"_

_Whatever. Umm, I don't know where Ahsoka got the Empire idea... sounds good though._

_Ventress is dead. Bummer. No one to fight._

Dear Obi-Wan,

I am writing to inform you that I will no longer be speaking to you until you grow a backbone and let me communicate the way that I would like. AND WOULD YOU STOP BEING ALL OVER SATINE? I mean really, have some dignity. I'm the unresponsible one, remember? Oh, and a little birdie may have told Siri about Satine... And that little birdie would like to tell you that you are dead. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Anakin

Dear Constant Annoyance,

First of all, what is a birdie? Second of all, I am not all over Satine. Thirdly, I am going to kill you... after I deal with Siri... And, Anakin, do the entire ship a favor and stop talking while you sleep. And did you hit Commander Cody in the head with a baseball bat last night?

Obi-Wan Rocks

Not Awesome,

I don't know what a birdie is. I don't talk in my sleep. And no, I most certainly did not hit Commander Cody in the head with a baseball bat. I was aiming for Echoes.

Anakin Is Not Illegaly Married

Dear Ani,

Dude, seriously, Don't write to me anymore. My doctor says that in my condition, I should not write. And Obi-Wan says you've been talking in your sleep? Well, he's right...

Love

Angel, XOXOXOXO

**Yeah, I'm on break from school, so expect a lot of randomness to come.**


	5. The One Flew Over The Gungan's Nest

_Empire, huh? Well, maybe I'll start an empire. But first, I have to deal with Jar Jar, ah that gungan is annoying..._

_"ANI! YOUSA GO SEE THE CHANCELLOR NOW!"_

_"Jar Jar, I just got out of the Bacta tank an hour ago, found out my Padawan whacked me in the head with a baseball bat, and then killed Ventress. I DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO THE CREEPY, OLD, INSANE CHANCELLOR!"_

_"Umm, Anakin..." Obi-Wan said in his know-it-all voice._

_"He's right behind me, isn't he?"_

_"Anakin, how nice to see you!" the creepy old chancellor said._

_"Umm, how much of that did you hear?"_

_"Now now, Darth Vader..."_

_"So, you _are_ a Sith Lord?" Obi-Wan started. "Personally, I saw it coming weeks ago! The tight black clothing, the monotone, the EMO PHASE!"_

_"I. Am. Not. An. Emo! And I am not a Sith Lord!"_

_"Whatever, Anakin. Oh, and your wife wants to see you," Palpatine said._

_"Padme? I mean, uhhh, what wife? I'm not married! The Code forbids it... heh, heh, heh."_

_"Anakin, just leave." Obi-Wan said. "You're taking an extended league of absences," he said, while waving his hand around._

_"I'm going to take an extended league of absence." I said, and then I left to do just that._

_"I thought that only works on the weak-minded?" Chancellor Palpatine asked._

_"Chancellor, no one ever accused my former Padawan of having a dense mind."_

My Very Young Former Apprentice, Anakin Skywalker,

I. Am. Going. To. Brutally. Murder. You. Have a great day! But not too great...

Sincerely,

Obi-Wan.

Murderer,

You can't do that, I just saved your life! Do you know how hard it is to carry you up an elevator shaft, unconcious, ON MY BACK? That's what, the tenth time?

Anakin

Anakin,

Ninth time! That business on Antioth doesn't... doesn't count.

Obi-Wan

Loser,

Does so! Anyway, I'm putting it all on you, I know how much you _love_ politics and pollitictians! Ahem, Satine, ahem.

Winner

Constant Annoyance

Senator Amidala, or should I say Senator Skywalker?

Obi-Wan

Goody-Goody,

You're fishing.

Anakin,

Maybe.

Obi-Wan,

You do realize we are three doors down from each other, right? Rex is tired of being the middle man. I'm supposed to be the lazy one, remember? Anyway, we're about to land on Coruscant, sooooo... Later, Master Jedi!

Your Personal Pain in the Neck,

Anakin.

(Later)

"Something wonderful has happened, Ani, I'm pregnant!"

"I KNEW IT!" Obi-Wan yelled.

"That... That's wonderful?" Anakin replied. _That explains the books_, he thought.

(Later)

"Wait, wait, wait, so _you're_ Satine?" Siri asked.

"And you must be... _Siri_," Satine said with disgust.

"You're trying to steal my knight in not-so-shining armor."

"No, my friend, it's the other way around."

"Ladies, ladies, I'm sure we can work this out..." a nervous-looking Obi-Wan said.

"KILL OBI-WAN!" they shouted as Siri ignited her lightsaber and Satine drew her blaster.

"Oh, great..."

(much, much later)

_Padme looks terrible, she's screaming... Oh, she's in labor... _

_"Anakin," she says weakly, and then, nothing? No, no, I won't lose her the way I lost my mother! I have to do something! Padme..._

(a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...)

Luke,

Tell your sister that you were right.

Love,

Your father, Anakin Skywalker, formerly known as Darth Vader, formerly known as Anakin Skywalker.

_Force-Ghost Anakin Skywalker laid down the letters that he was reading on the seat of his son Luke's X-Wing fighter. _

P.S.

Join the Dark Side, and I WILL find you... I know where you live, you just WAIT until your mother gets home, young man...

_"Good luck, Luke," he said even though no one, except for Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Yoda, the Force, and oh, about everyone else that has died in the movies / books, could hear him._

**The End! So, yeah, I felt like I had to put the last part in, give it an ending. And I mean, it' s not like Luke's going to join the Dark Side or anything, well, except for maybe in a certain Star Wars book... And yeah, the "you just wait until you mother gets home" line was because I would be much more afraid of being haunted by Padme than I would of Anakin, mainly because Padme gets on my nerves, I mean "Anakin, you're breaking my heart"? If only you all knew how much I REALLY hate that line... Well, that's it for "To Kill an Ewok". Bye!**


End file.
